


Lost World

by chekcough



Category: A Quiet Place (2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-04-30 23:57:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14507988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chekcough/pseuds/chekcough
Summary: The six months preceding 'A Quiet Place'.





	1. April

** Chapter I: April **

_12 April_

_Last year we were making plans for the Easter vacation. Lee thought we’d road trip it, drive along the Mississippi and camp. He got the well-worn map out of the car and spread it out on the table, showing the boys where we’d drive, where we’d camp. He told them we’d get to make campfires and roast marshmallows, and joked that we’d have to fish for our dinner each night. He didn’t know then how useful those skills would have come in later._

_It was a cold Spring, and when we woke up mid-April to a late snowfall Lee decided against his plan for a road trip. We’d do it during the summer, he said, when the days are hot and the nights are cold along the river. We ended up spending Easter picnicking out under the trees at the edge of the cornfield. We spent an entire, glorious day there, eating strawberries and apples, playing Rummy, the kids chasing each other around. I remember laying down on my back and looking up at the cloud-frisked sky through Spring branches, hearing Lee teaching Marc a card trick, the sound of Regan and Beau’s laughter at some inside joke. What I wouldn’t give to hear the sound of their laughter again._

_Today I look across the field to our picnic spot and see a ravaged forest edge, the trees are leafless. Perhaps they too are hiding. Last night Lee told me, as he always does, that we’ll be fine, that we’ll all make it out alive. I’m beginning to wonder if he does this for his comfort, or for mine. Because the way I see it, in this new world every sunrise means the call to another battle, one we’re never sure to win. And every sunset means dreams. The good, and the bad. Some days I wish I could conjure my own dreams instead of seeing the same nightmares, the reminders of days I wish never existed, even dreams of Before. Sometimes the most painful kind of dreams are the ones where you have everything you’ve ever wanted, only to wake up and remember that you never can._

_I can't help myself from mourning some lost world. Those simple things from Before. Going to the grocery store and hearing announcements over the loudspeaker about deals on ice cream. A morning jog through the acres of forest lining the winding road beside our house in Autumn, my cheeks flushed and cold. Ice skating at my parents' house in Rochester the year before Regan was born, laughing and squealing together, blades etching our newlywed bliss on December ice. Arguing. The silent treatment seems like a cruel joke to me now, and it was my preferred method._

_It's corny, it's sentimental, and I don't talk to anyone about it, but I feel it sometimes. Like in spite of everything pointing to the contrary, some terrible, blinding beauty is going to descend and, like the wrath of God, suck it all away, orphan us, deliver us, leaving us wondering how exactly we're going to start over yet again._

* * *

 

Evelyn closed her notebook, tucking the pen between its pages and setting it beside her on the porch step. The days were blissfully longer now, and after a harsh winter with sunsets beginning before five o’clock, she reveled in the timid warmness of Spring. Movement to the left of the field sparked a thrill of fear, and her eyes darted to its source. She swallowed her sigh of relief and smiled at the sight of her husband and daughter coming out of the woods. Lee tipped his head toward the house and Regan followed his gaze. She waved, her hand high over her head, the same expression of joy across her face that she’d worn even as a baby. Regan was always happy to spend the day with her father. In fact, Evelyn thought she preferred spending time with him.

While Marcus, at eleven, was content to help his mother with hanging the laundry and preparing meals in the relative safety of the farmhouse, Regan was experiencing a post-apocalyptic world and adolescence at the same time, and often exhibited a fearlessness that worried her parents. She continually surprised Evelyn with her ability to problem solve and figure out the world by herself, but hers was an independence that could become dangerous if left to spread too far.

Evelyn stood and tucked her notebook under her arm as they walked up the stairs, leaning into Lee and running her hand over his chest in greeting, then stretching to cup Regan’s cheek and stroke a thumb across it.

_How was it?_

Regan smiled widely, exchanging a look with her father. _We got TWO_ , she paused, then spelled out _C-A-T-F-I-S-H_!

Evelyn raised her eyebrows, and Lee nodded in confirmation. _You are awesome! You know that?_

Regan rolled her eyes and waved her mother’s congratulatory signs away. _They got caught in the trap. All we did was pick them out_.

Lee ruffled his daughter’s hair playfully, then looked to his wife.

_Where is he?_

_Reading_.

Regan rolled her eyes again. _Lazy_.

 _Hey, at least he does his math work_.

* * *

 

Lee worked on deboning the first catfish in the kitchen, while they took the second down to store in the basement freezer. Marcus put down his book as they walked in, waving hello to his sister.

 _What are you reading_?

_M-A-N-S-F-I-E-L-D P-A-R-K._

Regan looked at her mother as she returned from putting the fish away. She signed the name of Marcus’ book with a questioning look.

_It’s by J-A-N-E A-U-S-T-E-N. Remember, you read one of her books last year. S-E-N-S-E -_

Regan shook her head emphatically. _No, you made me watch the movie. It was terrible_. She raised her eyebrows at her brother. He shrugged.

 _Mom can’t find the fourth H-A-R-R-Y P-O-T-T-E-R book_.

* * *

 

Lee finished saying goodnight to his daughter and walked down the hall, leaning in the doorframe to watch Evelyn tuck Marcus into bed. She was sitting across from him on the mattress, her legs crossed Indian style, her hands weaving an intricate bedtime story.

… _Wait, I don’t get it_!

She paused mid-sign. _What? I’m serious, the entire room was made of candy_.

Marcus looked at her suspiciously. _Even the walls?_

_Of course! Everything!_

_Okay. What were they made of?_ Evelyn paused, needing a quick answer but drawing a blank.

 _Candy canes_ , Lee provided, walking into the room.

 _Right! Candy canes!_  Evelyn signed victoriously.

Marcus smirked at his parents.

 _Well, if you don’t believe me, I guess we’ll stop for tonight_ , Evelyn signed.

He shook his head, a pleading look in his eyes.

 _You will continue tomorrow_ , Lee signed. _Plus, tomorrow you’re coming with me. You need to sleep_.

They tucked him into bed and retreated to the hallway, where Evelyn took his hand and followed his careful footsteps to avoid creaking floorboards. Their room, located at the end of the hall, overlooked the small pond in the backyard. As she changed out of her jeans and light sweater and into pajamas, Evelyn noticed Lee standing still, looking out the window. She went to him, circling an arm around his waist.

_What do you see?_

_The water. It’s very still. Look at the moon_.

Evelyn stretched her eyes to find it, a perfect white circle reflected on the glass-smooth surface. She nodded, and he felt it against him. _Come to bed_.

He followed her, stripping to his boxers. They’d removed the mattresses from the bed frames and used the wood for firewood in the first winter After, and sleeping with practically no support on his back was really starting to make Lee feel like an old man. He lay on his side to watch Evelyn sign, as she always did before bed. This was the time they had completely to themselves, and she savored it. The moonlight made her skin glow in the dark, and he watched the fine bones of her hands stitch her words into the air between them. He had never really noticed people’s hands before Regan was born, and was fascinated with the way people’s personalities shone through by the simple movement of their hands. Watching Evelyn sign was how he imagined music would look if illustrated, even the simplest phrase was beautiful.

_How was she today?_

Lee sighed, thinking about his daughter. _She’s so brave. Strong_.

 _She loves being with you. I can see it in her face when she comes home_.

He nodded. _She’s having trouble with the implant again_.

A shade of worry crossed Evelyn’s face. _The frequency?_

 _I need to make her a higher amplifier_. He noticed his wife’s expression. _Don’t worry, I will work on it_.

He brushed a strand of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. The shadow left her face, replaced by a small smile.

She closed her eyes for a moment to savor whatever memory had just come back to her, then opened them.

_What?_

_Today I wrote about the picnic last year. Remember?_

He thought for a moment, then nodded. _I remember you bought raspberries_.

 _Strawberries_.

 _Right. I always mix those signs up_.

 _That was a good day. Remembering it made me feel warm inside_.

 _A good memory_ , he agreed, laying on his back, still looking at her.

She nodded, then placed her hand on his chest and moved closer to him. Her palm was warm over his heart.

He lifted his right hand up and signed his name sign for her. The slightest motion of his palm and fingers back and forth, the movement dependent on a supple wrist, like linen in a breeze. When they were learning, he made it up after he watching her listen to a CD of classical music. She waved her hand like a dance through the melody.

Evelyn smirked against him, reached her hand up and made the sign of Lion over his head. He smiled.

 _You can cut it tomorrow_.

_Promise?_

_Promise._


	2. May

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The events in this chapter take place around mid-late April, but the journal entry, as you'll see, is from May. Hopefully the timeline makes sense.

The morning was humid and sunny. They had risen early, at dawn, to begin planting the fields. Rows and rows of moist soil ready to nurture this year's crop of corn. Lee, having done this his whole life, had saved seeds from last year and now each member of the family had their pockets full of kernels. Without the help of machinery, the fields seemed immense wastelands as Evelyn moved down each row dropping golden kernels into the raised earth, using the ball of her foot to press them lightly down. The sun had risen until it was poised directly over them like some fierce angel. She stood up straight and stretched her arms over her head, raising her face to catch the light.

They worked through until noon, when Lee waved a halt and suggested a water break. They set their seeds down in small piles to return to later and went to the shade cast down by the house into the front yard while he went inside for a bottle. The easiest way to collect it, they'd soon discovered, was by filling a gallon at the river every day, and not by setting bottles out to catch the rain. The sound of water filling an empty bottle had brought the Creatures closer. Now Lee handed the gallon to Evelyn, who took a long drink directly from the plastic container, then passed it to Marcus.

As the water, cool from the darkness of the house, ran down her throat Evelyn lay down in the grass to rest. A gentle breeze passed over them, and she closed her eyes. They were all exhausted by fear, but sometimes, in a pure silence such as this, she felt safe enough. She opened her eyes as she felt Marcus touch her shoulder some minutes later.

_Back to work._

She smirked.  _Don_ _'_ _t look so excited._

He shrugged, then took her hand as they walked back together.

Evelyn began to feel strange through the next hour. Her neck and chest were sweaty and hot to the touch, yet every time the breeze blew over her she felt a sickly cold, a horrible storm of dread in her stomach. The minutes passed, and just as she thought it might be a simple mix of overheating and potential dehydration she threw a hand over her mouth and sank to the ground. A muffled retching sound, and then vomit slid from between her fingers down onto the ground in front of her. Lee and Marcus turned at the noise, and she held up her free hand to signal that she was all right, but Lee was already moving, motioning for his children to stay where they were.

From halfway across the field he reached her in seconds, looking around them quickly, wincing at the raw sound of her vomiting into her lap. He crouched next to her, running a worn palm over her back as she brought up bile, then continued to rub as she sat up, her face pale and sweaty. She looked around as well, aware that she had made noise. After a moment, she sighed, holding one hand against her raw throat. She felt gutted, like a fish lain on ice at the market.

_OK?_

She nodded.  _OK._

 _You_ _'_ _re sick?_ He looked worried. She'd been fine through the day, and going to the pharmacy was a three hour hike.

She shook her head.  _I feel better now. Maybe the fish from last night._ She saw Regan and Marcus beginning to walk forward toward their parents.  _I_ _'_ _m fine,_ she signed,  _just tired._

 _Regan, help your mom get inside and downstairs,_ Lee signed, looking up at his daughter.  _You want to sleep?_

Evelyn shook her head, but they both knew she was lying. She'd told him early in the After that sleep was her only true escape. She warred with it yet craved the escape it offered. Often she awoke suddenly in the night to find the trails of tears down her cheeks, her neck wet with them. Sleep offered a paradise she could never have, and the never ending nightmare that consisted of the single moment just before their youngest child died. His large eyes, locked onto hers for the smallest instant before -

* * *

_20 May_

_Today, in the small hours of the morning I woke up to the sound of birds, terrified, only to discover that I_ _'_ _d dreamt them. I closed my eyes, trying to relive it all._

 _I was in this same bed, although then it had been in another room. It was February 14th, a Tuesday. Even in the dream I was half-asleep. I lost sense of the room altogether and seemed to pass into a landscape of fields, some fallow, some furrowed, all colorless through the mist of dawn. The fuzzy outlines of the surrounding forests contrasted with the milky winter sky. Yet through it all I was acutely aware of the weight on my chest, the tiny fist around my ring finger, my other hand across Regan_ _'_ _s back as she squirmed, her heart beating against mine in the first moments of her life on Earth. All the pain was forgotten the instant the midwife laid her there. The solid weight of Lee beside me, the press of his lips against my temple and some words of praise. His hand joining mine on her back._

 _"_ _She_ _'_ _s so small,_ _"_ _he said reverently. The sound of small birds outside was like a love song. We_ _'_ _d later find out Regan never heard them._

 _I was barely twenty-three, still not quite certain how to file taxes or change a tire, and found myself suddenly becoming a mother. There_ _'_ _s nothing like having a child to make you want to call your own parents to ask, somewhat desperately,_ _"_ _How did you do it?_ _"_

 _This notebook started as a way to document our lives After, but I find myself using it more and more to write of Before. To write these memories down is to experience them again, if only through ink. Then again, perhaps documenting Before is equally as important as documenting After. Sooner than they realize, our children will grow up, their early years overshadowed by the cruel world in which we now find ourselves. This book will be for them, then. They_ _'_ _ll need it. Especially this new baby, whose life will be spent in silence unless, by some miracle, we can destroy the Creatures before they destroy us._

* * *

Days after being sick in the field she'd known. A hike into town had been arranged for the next day, and she held up the rear, an empty pack on her back that would, in a few hours, be filled with any useful supplies they could get their hands on. Evelyn had two things on her mind: finding an unexpired pregnancy test, and hoping with all her might that it would be negative. They should have been more careful. Frequent rainfall and thunderstorms through January and February had provided multiple opportunities to have sex. Sometimes it was exhausting and woefully impersonal, both of them feverishly working towards a release that would let them forget. Sometimes slow and intimate, two warm bodies joined together, eager to reach a common goal but unhurried about it. His hands in her hair, kisses behind her right ear, her nails marking half-moons over the plane of his back. They should have been more careful.

Evelyn slipped a test into her pack and sensed it like a burning coal all the way home. Hurrying away with it as soon as possible after unloading the other supplies they'd managed to find, she took the test and waited, chewed the inside of her cheek and prayed to a God she had lost all faith in that she'd get the answer she wanted. She almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. At all the signs she'd overlooked. Two missed periods, the soreness in her breasts that had prevented her from sleeping on her stomach, fatigue she'd assumed came from the stress she lived every day. It was exactly how every one of her pregnancies had begun. Looking at the test now confirmed what she already knew. Now a nest of worry hummed like bees inside her, knowing she'd have to tell Lee.

* * *

Regan and Marcus were helping her shell peas for dinner on the front porch while Lee worked downstairs. The methodical process of snapping open the pod and letting the peas fall into a pile was calming to all three of them. It was something they'd done often Before, something familiar. They finished shelling the peas and Regan looked at her mother.

_Should I get Dad?_

Evelyn shook her head.  _He_ _'_ _s working. Go put you pajamas on, OK?_

Regan followed Marcus inside, and Evelyn stood up, the peas cradled in her skirt. She walked in, then pulled the front door noiselessly shut, sealing them from the outside world as best they could. In the kitchen she mixed the peas with fresh spinach from the garden and filled hollowed wood bowls, setting them at four places at the table. Tonight there was no fish, and it was too early to harvest the still-green tomatoes.

While the kids went upstairs and got dressed, Evelyn went downstairs, flipping the light switch to signify her presence. Lee looked up from his work, his brow smoothing when he saw her.

 _Dinner,_ Evelyn signed.

 _OK._ He stood up, then noticed she seemed more tense than usual.  _OK?_

She nodded.  _Fine. But I have to talk to you after the kids go to bed._

He put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it slightly to offer some comfort.  _About what?_

She smiled softly.  _I_ _'_ _ll tell you later. Let_ _'_ _s have dinner._

* * *

Regan was staying up late, reading by flashlight, but Marcus had fallen asleep easily, exhausted after a long day of walking. Evelyn retreated to the bedroom at the end of the hall after watching Marcus sleep from the doorway, half hoping Lee would be asleep as well by the time she got there.

But, true to his nature, he had remembered their small conversation before dinner. He was writing in his own notebook, but set it aside when he saw Evelyn come in. She smiled a tight smile, then changed out of her clothes into a t-shirt and leggings, suddenly conscious that they were tighter than usual around her abdomen. How could she have missed all the signs? Lee motioned for her to sit down, and she did, directly across from him.

 _So, what is it?_ he asked, curious.

She bit her lip before signing, somewhat miserably,  _I_ _'_ _m pregnant._

Lee's face changed from joy to worry in the span of seconds.  _Are you sure?_ he signed quickly.

She nodded.  _I took a test today. I_ _'_ _m sorry._

_Sorry?_

Evelyn looked into his eyes, her own stinging with the onset of tears.  _I can_ _'_ _t lose another child. I can_ _'_ _t._

He lifted his hands to sign, to comfort her, but couldn't come up with anything that could possibly help. She watched his hands, scanned his face, tried to read him. After a few moments, he looked back at her.  _When?_

She shrugged.  _Late October. Maybe early November._

Lee looked calm yet determined.  _We will find a way._

She felt the tears begin to well in her eyes. She mouthed, " _How?_ ".

With a silent sigh, he looked back up at her.  _I don_ _'_ _t know. But I_ _'_ _ll find a way._ He then shook his head as if to clear all the worried thoughts from it.  _How are you? What do you need?_

 _I_ _'_ _m fine. Don_ _'_ _t worry. I_ _'_ _ve done this three times._

He smiled a little ruefully.  _Thank God we know what to expect._

She raised her eyebrows.  _Just because I_ _'_ _ve done this three times doesn_ _'_ _t mean it_ _'_ _s any easier._

He nodded, smiling.  _I know, I_ _'_ _m sorry._

Author's Note _:_ So, this chapter sort of takes place in late April but has a journal entry from late May. Hopefully the timeline sort of made sense.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: I can't get this movie out of my head, so I had to write something about it. I didn't know the characters had names until I looked up if any fanfiction existed yet, and I had different names written in my first draft, but I supposed these names will have to do. Leave a comment if you feel like it!


End file.
